Thursday, August 26, 2010

as I turn 42...

Things I'm thankful for as I start my 43rd year...

829. hair color that goes over gray
830. friends who have cabins on the lake and invite you over
831. beautiful scenery while sitting on the deck
832. young people talking around a fire
833. older brother encouraging and cheering his little sister as she climbs the rope for the first time
834. strong young limbs swinging across the bars
835. cute little teddy bear puppy
836. sleek black/stainless steel stove
837. strawberries
838. green beans
839. big sister making smoothies for younger siblings
840. good friends
841. wonderful family
842. hanging clothes out on the line
843. corn stalks taller than my head
844. trains coming to collect grain that's been stored for 2 years
845. climbing lentil prices
846. funny moments
847. the drive-in
848. honey
849. pretty aprons made by a friend
850. plans to gather to sew
851. little boys finally cleaning their room by themselves
852. bags of old paper going out of the office as we clean
853. the dawn of a new school year
854. an uneventful summer with our explosive son
855. phone calls just because
856. parents who are near
857. accountability you can trust
858. a heart that can grieve loss for another
859. hope for healing
860. beautiful daughters
861. handsome sons
862. possibilites

Friday, August 13, 2010

Of Rain and Coming of Age

The rain is sighing, overflowing already saturated ground. Inside, tempers flare here and there, words exchanged at high decibels. Elsewhere children seek solitude in public places. Others look for attention from me when I just want my own space, too. The dryer runs in circles seeking to end the wetness within. It is a reflective moment. I am not surrounded by my tribe at the moment, they have wandered off to more interesting places. The rain continues outside the window and a little inside my heart. This summer has been busier than I was prepared for, even though I knew ahead of time what lay in store. "He restores my soul", He will fill up the places that have been drained dry, soften the rough edges worn thin by exhaustion, knead the muscles that have tensed. I need to find the space to let Him minister to me, this seems to be the lesson that is to be learned this summer, I haven't quite figured it out yet. I need to 'come-of-age', learn how to walk like He wants me, too. It's time for new lessons.

Tonight we'll celebrate a milestone, a coming of age. Boy #2 turns 12 on Sunday but we will not be home, so this evening we will mark the passage into manhood. His body is not yet aware he is a man-in-training, he still looks younger than his 12 years. His mind does not yet know that he will have to shoulder great responsibility one day. His spirit has not yet discovered the wealth of strength that resides there. He is 70 lbs of raw potential. The distance we have traveled with this young man is vast and twisting, over sharp rocks and rough ground. If I had known it would be so difficult would I have said yes? I don't know. Since he has come home again things have been better. When you step away you can see growth that you can't see up close. He is growing, changing, maturing. If I had said no I would not be a witness to the transformation that I am privy, too.

Oh Lord, give us the wisdom to mold, shape and train this man-child. Help us to guide him into the path you have created just for him. Thank you for opportunity you've given us to choose him, every day. Transform me into the mom he needs. Soften my words like you've softened the ground. Let my spirit be saturated with your love so that it oozes out with the merest drizzle. Make my spirit slick like our roads so that anger and depression cannot get a grip, that offenses simply slide off into the ditch, forgotten. Give me an abundant heart, rich and full, ready for harvest.